BLOG
stop playing-it-safe all the time and start living courageously
Being loving is a verb
I just got back from Bolivia, the place where I grew up. This trip was a powerful, quiet reminder of a core truth about what it means to care. Being loving is a value, not a destination In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we learn to separate our feelings from...
Committed Action: Doing It Without Feeling Ready
You can know exactly what matters to you and still do nothing about it for a year. This episode is about committed action, one of the six core psychological processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In this episode Dr. Z gives you the definition, clears up...
A chapter I wrote in the middle of my worst anxiety episode
Chapter 28: You were never meant to do this alone I wrote this workbook in the middle of one of my worst anxiety episodes, and I didn’t finish it alone. When anxiety takes hold, sometimes, your mind whispers things like, “no one will get it, no one gets it.” It sounds...
Values: What You Actually Care About
This podcast episode is about values: what they are, why "just set some boundaries" was always going to fail, and ways to find yours in your everyday life. What you will learn: A definition of values. Why being a good parent is not a value. The two places your...
The Present Moment: Where You Aren’t
In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to find ourselves physically present but mentally miles away. Whether we're preoccupied with future meetings or replaying past conversations, being rooted in the present moment often feels like an elusive goal. This episode...
Self as Context: You Are Not the Description
In our fast-paced lives, it's easy to get caught up in the myriad of self-descriptions that our minds conjure up. These labels, whether comforting or harsh, can often define and limit us. In this episode, you dive into the concept of "Self as Context," a central...
Defusion: When You Believe Everything You Think!
There's an email that's been sitting in your drafts for eleven days, and the only thing stopping it is one sentence in your head that you've never checked. This episode is about defusion, one of the six core processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and about...
Acceptance: When You Upgrade Your Own Feelings
You didn't have one hard thing. Ninety seconds later you had three. Acceptance is the first word in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the process that gets explained worst. This episode is the plain version: what acceptance actually means, what it is not, and how...
Experiential Avoidance: A Playing-It-Safe Move
I've been thinking about a client I worked with: brilliant, accomplished, fully capable of having the hard conversation she'd been putting off for four months. She knew what to say. She just kept finding something else to do first. She wasn't avoiding the...
Acceptance vs. Resignation: What Most People Get Wrong
I keep hearing a version of this phrase in my office: "I've just accepted that this is who I am." And then, in the same conversation: she hasn't pitched the idea. She turned down the speaking spot. She's still drafting an email she wrote three weeks ago. She's...
Waiting for the Good Option: The Playing-It-Safe Trap
Something I've noticed in session over and over again, and in myself, if I'm honest, is that when a decision feels impossible, the instinct isn't to decide. The instinct is to ask one more person. I did this recently. I had a decision I'd been sitting with, and I...
Drop the Crutch: How “Safety Behaviors” Keep You Anxious
You've probably heard the advice: just show up. Just be there. And you do. You walk through the door, you sit at the table, you're technically present. But what if the phone in your hand, the seat near the exit, the constant questions you ask so no one ever asks you...
