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stop playing-it-safe all the time and start living courageously
The Checking Trap: Reassurance is Making it Worse
There is a reason reassurance never fully lands. It's not because you asked the wrong person or didn't search long enough. It's because certainty is not what's actually available, and your mind knows it, which is why the loop starts again twelve minutes later. Episode...
Mind Gossip: When Your Thoughts Become Your Enemy
He had a great presentation. His mind told him for two days it was a disaster, and it’s all because of four seconds. That's not self-reflection. That's cognitive fusion. And it's one of the most invisible playing-it-safe behaviors there is. Episode 101 of the...
How to Actually Do the Thing
Gloria Mark's research found that after a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task. Yup, 23 minutes. Not because you're undisciplined. Because the digital world you live in was literally designed, using the same behavioral...
You Don’t Have a Time Problem. You Have a Time Story.
This week on the Playing-It-Safe podcast, we are diving deep into the psychology of time, procrastination, and flow. We are bypassing the standard "productivity culture" advice and looking at what the research actually says! This is the episode for the person who...
The Goal Trap: Why Your Goals are Keeping You Stuck
Can I ask you something? Think about a goal you've been carrying for a while. Something you keep coming back to. Something that matters to you. Now ask yourself, is it really yours? Or is it being driven by fear? Because here's what I see over and over in my work as a...
Your Mind is Lying to You About Why You Can’t Start
The rider knows exactly what needs to be done, but the elephant has decided not to move. Jonathan Haidt’s famous metaphor perfectly captures what it feels like to be stuck. If you’ve ever sat at your desk staring at a blank screen or a looming project, you know...
The Second Arrow, Why Being Hard on Yourself is Keeping You Stuck
Most overthinkers and overachievers believe that being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp. Kristin Neff's research says the opposite. People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. They persist more. And they procrastinate...
Stop Chasing Goals. Start Living Your Values.
I had a friend who told me he hadn't felt happy in years. Not depressed. Not anxious. Just... empty. And when I asked what he did for fun, he paused for a long time. "I don't really know anymore," he said. Sonja Lyubomirsky's research found that external achievements...
You’re Not Lazy, Your Mind is Just Very Good at This
I’m back from a mini-break! Every two weeks, I’ll bring you compassionate, evidence-based skills, based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help you stop 'playing-it-safe' and start doing what truly matters to you! Let’s retire the word "lazy." In today's 10-min...
Stop Overthinking: Find Your Purpose and Embrace Uncertainty
Before diving into general psychological skills for managing overthinking and the nitty-gritty of taming your busy mind, let's start with what matters most: your purpose. Nowadays, the pursuit of happiness often overshadows the deeper quest for meaning. But, research...
When Breathlessness Meets Panic!
It started with what I thought was a mild cold, just a scratchy throat and some fatigue. I told myself I’d be fine. I’m healthy and vaccinated. But, within two days, walking from my bed to the kitchen left me breathless. A rapid test confirmed what I feared: I had...
The Intersection of Anxiety, Fear, and Human Experience Through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
I’m excited to share a recent conversation I had with UK therapist John-Paul Davies — now available as a podcast episode — where we dive deep into what makes Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) so helpful for anxiety. John-Paul is a therapist in the UK who has...
