Chapter 28: You were never meant to do this alone
I wrote this workbook in the middle of one of my worst anxiety episodes, and I didn’t finish it alone.
When anxiety takes hold, sometimes, your mind whispers things like, “no one will get it, no one gets it.” It sounds convincing, and it’s also wrong.
Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is to let someone walk beside you while you learn to deal with anxiety. Not to fix it. Not to take it away. Just to be there.
I know that asking for help feels complicated, especially when you’re a teenager. Maybe you don’t want to worry your parents; maybe you’re not sure your friends will understand; maybe you’ve tried before and it didn’t go the way you hoped; maybe your mind is already telling you that you’re too much, that no one really wants to hear it.
But, the reality is that the biggest acts of courage happen when you let others in.
Think about it: Superheroes have sidekicks. Athletes have teammates. Adventurers have guides. Asking for support is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign that you understand something important: we’re not meant to do hard things alone.
The people who care about you want to help. They just can’t if they don’t know what you need.
Your mind might be wondering, what can someone really do about my anxious moments? Here is my response to you: more than you think. Support doesn’t mean they take the anxiety away; it means they show up while you face it. And showing up can look like so many different ways, as I was reminded firsthand not long ago.
A few months ago, a life transition that should have felt like a fresh start became, instead, one of the most anxiety-provoking experiences of my life.
As this situation unfolded, my mind latched onto every possible worst-case scenario and replayed it, relentlessly, on a loop I couldn’t turn off. I found myself in a constant state of hyper-vigilance, anticipating danger around every corner, physically sick, and struggling to function in ways that felt completely out of character for me. The anxiety wasn’t visible from the outside, it was quiet, relentless, and cumulative.
I know what anxiety is. I have studied it, treated it, written about it. And it reminded me, in the most humbling way, that no amount of experience, skills or self-awareness makes any of us immune to being undone by life circumstances we didn’t choose and couldn’t fully control.
Among all the ACT skills you learned in this workbook, here is also what got me through: people who showed up. Four friends who checked in on me, each in their own way, as I navigated day by day those anxious moments.
Person One called just to hear how I was doing. They didn’t try to fix anything. They just listened.
Person Two sent me ridiculous memes at random times, I couldn’t resist laughing. Other times, they sent me links to beautiful interiors or pieces of modern furniture that had nothing to do with anything, and yet, were appealing to distract my mind.
Person Three showed up to help me deal with logistics I couldn’t think clearly about.
Person Four sat with me and helped me think through options when my anxious mind could only see dead ends. They helped me find my way back to problem-solving when rumination had taken over.
These four people showed up consistently, quietly, without keeping score. As my mind kept pulling me toward rumination, and as I worked moment by moment to stay grounded, they were the thread that helped me hold on. I’m deeply grateful to each one of them.
Now think about your own life. You might already have people like this around you, people you haven’t fully let in yet. Start there.
Ask yourself:
- Who do I feel safe talking to?
- Who encourages me when I’m struggling?
- Who would remind me of my strengths when I forget?
- Who shows up in small, quiet ways that I maybe haven’t noticed yet?
You don’t need four people. You don’t even need two. One person who truly shows up can change everything.
You were never meant to carry this alone. And you don’t have to.
