Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies!

If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now.

When you’re pursuing a top performance –​ from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well being altogether.

In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself.

Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by working harder and harder, doing more and more.

I am sharing today an interview with Espree Devora. Espree has been recently featured in INC Magazine as one of the top 30 women in tech to follow and is known as “The Girl Who Gets it Done.”

In this conversation, we chat about how Espree manages stress being the caring person she is, how she manages stress given her work ethic, and how she manages stress in general as an entrepreneur.

Key Takeaways

• How to find your own rhythms to navigate stressful moments
• How to get things done without losing yourself
• How to keep yourself accountable without being harsh with one’s self
• How to practice distress tolerance skills on-the-go

About Espree Devora

Espree uses technology and digital content to thoughtfully connect people in the tech industry and move them from online connections to meaningful offline relationships. Her company, WeAreLATech, creates high quality digital content including podcasts, technology, and curated offline experiences focused on the Los Angeles tech and global women in tech ecosystems. These resources help the community accelerate in business via authentically connecting.

Key Takeaways

• The raw version of how perfectionistic actions show up
• The plus, benefits, and cons of perfectionistic actions
• How perfectionistic actions show up in all areas of life
• If-then thoughts
• How to hold our mind lightly 
• The beginnings of practicing mindfulness
• How to cultivate presence in your day-to-day life
  

About Andrew Nalband

He is a veteran of three classes of Techstars and the former Director of User Experience at Ubersense Inc. (acquired by Hudl in August 2014). Naval has helped more than 25 companies improve their products, and has driven iPhone apps to the top of the App Store and millions of installs.

Are you an overachiever?

Some perfectionistic traits – e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details – can be extremely handy. But what happens when you don’t do things in moderation and feel compelled to do more and more, do everything right, and avoid mistakes?

In this episode, I chat with Clarissa Ong, Ph.D., about her work on perfectionism.

Key Takeaways

We discussed in detail:

• The coherence trap
• Meta-awareness: awareness about awareness
• Exposure exercises as awareness exercises
• Motivational flexibility
• Uncertainty workouts
• Self-compassion practices

About Clarissa Ong, Ph.D.

Dr. Ong (she/her) is an Assistant Professor and the Psychology Clinic Director at the University of Toledo. She completed her Ph.D. in Clinical/Counseling Psychology at Utah State University, her predoctoral clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School, and her postdoctoral training at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University and CBTeam. Her research focuses on developing, evaluating, and disseminating effective interventions guided by behavioral and process-based principles.