We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do – as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists – then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified.

In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many layers in which these fears show up and how nourishing your observer-self can shift from self-criticism into self-acceptance, from self-judgment into self-compassion, and from emotional avoidance into curious behaviors.

Cultivating your observer-self isn’t just about self-distancing; it is about your well-being and living a purpose-driven life.

Key Takeaways

About Annick Seys

As the founder of the 4-year training course to become a contextual behavioral therapist, Annick is one of the founders of the development of a therapy course that can be considered one of the most precise, effective, and innovative ways to work with people, teams, and organizations on change behavior. To achieve this, Annick worked with a number of leading professors from various universities worldwide.

Today, Annick supports people who are at the top of their organization or company internationally to develop greater mental flexibility, focus, and wisdom in which they can more effectively achieve their goals and guide their organization through all the challenges that come with it.

self-acceptance<br />
self-compassion

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z.

Show notes with time stamps

00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions
01:00 The Struggles of Time Management
01:07 Dealing with Disappointments and Failures
05:31 Exploring Self-Acceptance
06:01 The Ongoing Exercise of Self-Acceptance
11:45 Unpacking the Fear of Failure
14:12 The Impact of Toxic Positivity
17:47 Tapping into the Observer Self
18:01 Exercises to Connect with the Observer Self
20:50 Understanding the Observer Self
24:03 Experiencing Different Moods
26:11 Relating to Past Experiences
29:59 Overcoming the Fear of Failure

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About Dr. Z.

I’m originally from Bolivia, South America, and am a psychologist by training. I’m formally trained in empirically supported treatments, and when I say “formally,” I mean that since 2004 I have received intensive training in them, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Over the past 18 years, I have created resources for and worked with overthinkers and overachievers dealing with all types of anxiety-related struggles: perfectionism, procrastination, productivity anxiety, uncertainty intolerance, indecision, impostor phenomenon, overthinking, phobias, rumination, panic, worry and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I absolutely love my job!

In 2019, I was nominated as a fellow by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science because of my contributions related to the applications of ACT for anxiety-based struggles. I’m the author of seven books and the co-author of three (see the section on previously written books).

I’m the founder and director of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique private center in the San Francisco Bay Area that offers therapy and coaching for anyone experiencing anxiety-based struggles.

In 2023, I gave a TEDx talk, “Stop playing-it-safe and start living” that has more than 264K downloads.

While I’m a psychologist by training and science-based by passion, my style is jargon-free, accessible, caring, and lighthearted; teaching ACT skills doesn’t have to be boring or inaccessible, so I do my best to make every skill I teach—in any format—as engaging as possible. 

I believe that learning to navigate anxiety-based reactions is one of the key skills of the 21st century, and I’m passionate about it.

I'm passionate about disseminating ACT skills for anxiety-based struggles.

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