Your Mind is Lying to You About Why You Can’t Start

Procrastinating, postponing and delaying, Taking my thoughts too seriously

The rider knows exactly what needs to be done, but the elephant has decided not to move. Jonathan Haidt’s famous metaphor perfectly captures what it feels like to be stuck.

If you’ve ever sat at your desk staring at a blank screen or a looming project, you know exactly what that standoff feels like. It’s incredibly frustrating, and our immediate default is usually to blame ourselves, chalking it up to laziness or a lack of discipline.

But here’s the thing: your elephant isn’t lazy. There is actual behavioral science behind why your mind’s reasons for waiting sound so completely rational in the moment.

In this short, 10-minute episode, we look at how to stop debating the elephant and actually start moving.

Show notes with time-stamps

0:00 The moment right before you avoid something
1:00 Playing-it-safe behavior #7: overvaluing and over-identifying with your thoughts
2:05 Jonathan Haidt’s “rider and elephant” metaphor
2:53 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy on avoidance and psychological inflexibility
3:19 Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory
3:50 Psychological flexibility as the direct answer
4:31 The “thinking log” exercise for the next 7 days
6:11 “Your mind isn’t the oracle of truth:” reframing your inner advisory board
6:51 Dr. Z’s own most reliable “ruling-thought”

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About Dr. Z.

I’m originally from Bolivia, South America, and am a psychologist by training. I’m formally trained in empirically supported treatments, and when I say “formally,” I mean that since 2004 I have received intensive training in them, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Over the past 18 years, I have created resources for and worked with overthinkers and overachievers dealing with all types of anxiety-related struggles: perfectionism, procrastination, productivity anxiety, uncertainty intolerance, indecision, impostor phenomenon, overthinking, phobias, rumination, panic, worry and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I absolutely love my job!

In 2019, I was nominated as a fellow by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science because of my contributions related to the applications of ACT for anxiety-based struggles. I’m the author of seven books and the co-author of three (see the section on previously written books).

I’m the founder and director of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique private center in the San Francisco Bay Area that offers therapy and coaching for anyone experiencing anxiety-based struggles.

In 2023, I gave a TEDx talk, “Stop playing-it-safe and start living” that has more than 264K downloads.

While I’m a psychologist by training and science-based by passion, my style is jargon-free, accessible, caring, and lighthearted; teaching ACT skills doesn’t have to be boring or inaccessible, so I do my best to make every skill I teach—in any format—as engaging as possible. 

I believe that learning to navigate anxiety-based reactions is one of the key skills of the 21st century, and I’m passionate about it.

I'm passionate about disseminating ACT skills for anxiety-based struggles.

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