Most overthinkers and overachievers believe that being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp.
Kristin Neff’s research says the opposite. People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. They persist more. And they procrastinate significantly less.
This week, on Playing-It-Safe, I’m going into the neuroscience of why self-criticism feeds procrastination, what Paul Gilbert’s three emotional regulation systems tell us, and what happened with a client who worked through the exercises in chapter four of my workbook.
This is the episode that tends to land hardest. Which usually means it’s the one you need most.
Show notes with time-stamps
0:00 The client stuck on a project she deeply cared about
1:38 Playing-it-safe behavior #9: criticizing and judging yourself negatively
1:58 The “second arrow” loop explained
3:06 Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion and motivation
3:45 Paul Gilbert’s three emotional regulation systems (threat, drive, soothing)
4:28 Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research
5:00 Why psychological flexibility matters
6:16 Dr. Z’s personal story of shooting “second arrows” at herself
6:54 This week’s challenge: name your second arrow
Listen Here
Come continue the conversation on Instagram at @thisisdoctorz.
Learn research-based skills and actionable steps to make better decisions, adjust to uncertain situations, make bold moves, & do more of what matters to you.
