The Goal Trap: Why Your Goals are Keeping You Stuck

Procrastinating, postponing and delaying, Taking my thoughts too seriously

Can I ask you something?

Think about a goal you’ve been carrying for a while. Something you keep coming back to. Something that matters to you.

Now ask yourself, is it really yours? Or is it being driven by fear?

Because here’s what I see over and over in my work as a psychologist specialized in anxiety: we set goals that look like aspirations but are actually running on anxiety.

This week on the Playing-it-Safe podcast, I’m talking about the three goal traps I see most, and why most of us don’t even realize we’re in them.

Show notes with time-stamps

0:00 The coaching client with the “wrong” goal
1:50 Playing-it-safe behavior #8: chasing outcomes and emotions you can’t control
2:55 Edwin Locke and Gary Latham’s goal-setting theory
3:49 Heidi Grant Halvorson: approach vs. avoidance goals
4:33 Tali Sharot’s research on the optimism bias & the arrival fallacy
5:15 Robert Emmons’ research on self-concordant goals
6:06 The values-based goals and actions exercise (ACT Workbook, chapter 6)
6:56 Identifying the internal obstacle to your values-based action
8:21 This week’s challenge: identify your goal type

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About Dr. Z.

I’m originally from Bolivia, South America, and am a psychologist by training. I’m formally trained in empirically supported treatments, and when I say “formally,” I mean that since 2004 I have received intensive training in them, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Over the past 18 years, I have created resources for and worked with overthinkers and overachievers dealing with all types of anxiety-related struggles: perfectionism, procrastination, productivity anxiety, uncertainty intolerance, indecision, impostor phenomenon, overthinking, phobias, rumination, panic, worry and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I absolutely love my job!

In 2019, I was nominated as a fellow by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science because of my contributions related to the applications of ACT for anxiety-based struggles. I’m the author of seven books and the co-author of three (see the section on previously written books).

I’m the founder and director of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique private center in the San Francisco Bay Area that offers therapy and coaching for anyone experiencing anxiety-based struggles.

In 2023, I gave a TEDx talk, “Stop playing-it-safe and start living” that has more than 264K downloads.

While I’m a psychologist by training and science-based by passion, my style is jargon-free, accessible, caring, and lighthearted; teaching ACT skills doesn’t have to be boring or inaccessible, so I do my best to make every skill I teach—in any format—as engaging as possible. 

I believe that learning to navigate anxiety-based reactions is one of the key skills of the 21st century, and I’m passionate about it.

I'm passionate about disseminating ACT skills for anxiety-based struggles.

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