There is a reason reassurance never fully lands. It’s not because you asked the wrong person or didn’t search long enough.
It’s because certainty is not what’s actually available, and your mind knows it, which is why the loop starts again twelve minutes later.
Episode 102 of the Playing-It-Safe podcast is about the checking trap: what it is, why it works in the short run, and the ACT skill that actually interrupts it.
Show notes with time-stamps
0:00 The reassurance-seeking loop (texting, googling, checking again)
2:22 The hidden cost of reassurance: it trains your mind to need more of it
3:07 What reassurance-seeking is really costing you (judgment, relationships, life)
4:19 The psychology behind it: Stanley Rachman’s research on safety behaviors
5:18 Michael Dugas and the intolerance of uncertainty model
6:19 Skills you can try to interrupt a reassurance loop
9:24 Addressing the shame underneath reassurance-seeking
10:12 The values question: what is the checking protecting you from?
11:01 Dr. Z’s personal example
12:10 This week’s challenge: sit with uncertainty for 5 minutes
Listen Here
Learn research-based skills and actionable steps to make better decisions, adjust to uncertain situations, make bold moves, & do more of what matters to you.
