He had a great presentation. His mind told him for two days it was a disaster, and it’s all because of four seconds.
That’s not self-reflection. That’s cognitive fusion. And it’s one of the most invisible playing-it-safe behaviors there is.
Episode 101 of the Playing-It-Safe podcast is about overvaluing your thoughts and the deceptively simple ACT skill that starts to untangle it.
Show notes with time-stamps
0:00 A friend’s presentation and the four seconds that haunted him
0:24 How the mind fixates on the “wrong” moment over everything that went right
0:50 Cognitive defusion (ACT)
1:45 How a thinking loop works
2:30 Choosing your thought relationship
2:54 The immense cost of over-identifying with your thoughts
3:52 What cognitive defusion means
4:08 Steven Hayes on defusion and literal truth
4:22 Research on stepping back from thoughts
4:44 Thomas Borkovec on thought suppression backfiring
5:15 Exercise: don’t think about dark chocolate
5:38 The ACT skill: thanking your mind
5:50 What thanking your mind (defusion) means
6:30 How to practice it, step 1: notice the thought as a thought
7:25 Step 2: thank your mind
8:04 Step 3: choose your response based on values, not the thought
9:02 A client’s story: staying in the conversation despite the thought
9:34 Your mind isn’t the oracle of truth
9:51 A question to consider: what if anxious thoughts were just weather?
10:25 Psychological flexibility doesn’t require your mind to change
10:51 Dr. Z’s own imposter thought
11:46 This week’s playing-it-safe behavior + mini assignment
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