Mind Gossip: When Your Thoughts Become Your Enemy

Procrastinating, postponing and delaying, Taking my thoughts too seriously

He had a great presentation. His mind told him for two days it was a disaster, and it’s all because of four seconds.

That’s not self-reflection. That’s cognitive fusion. And it’s one of the most invisible playing-it-safe behaviors there is.

Episode 101 of the Playing-It-Safe podcast is about overvaluing your thoughts and the deceptively simple ACT skill that starts to untangle it.

 

Show notes with time-stamps

0:00 A friend’s presentation and the four seconds that haunted him
0:24 How the mind fixates on the “wrong” moment over everything that went right
0:50 Cognitive defusion (ACT)
1:45 How a thinking loop works
2:30 Choosing your thought relationship
2:54 The immense cost of over-identifying with your thoughts
3:52 What cognitive defusion means
4:08 Steven Hayes on defusion and literal truth
4:22 Research on stepping back from thoughts
4:44 Thomas Borkovec on thought suppression backfiring
5:15 Exercise: don’t think about dark chocolate
5:38 The ACT skill: thanking your mind
5:50 What thanking your mind (defusion) means
6:30 How to practice it, step 1: notice the thought as a thought
7:25 Step 2: thank your mind
8:04 Step 3: choose your response based on values, not the thought
9:02 A client’s story: staying in the conversation despite the thought
9:34 Your mind isn’t the oracle of truth
9:51 A question to consider: what if anxious thoughts were just weather?
10:25 Psychological flexibility doesn’t require your mind to change
10:51 Dr. Z’s own imposter thought
11:46 This week’s playing-it-safe behavior + mini assignment

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About Dr. Z.

I’m originally from Bolivia, South America, and am a psychologist by training. I’m formally trained in empirically supported treatments, and when I say “formally,” I mean that since 2004 I have received intensive training in them, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Over the past 18 years, I have created resources for and worked with overthinkers and overachievers dealing with all types of anxiety-related struggles: perfectionism, procrastination, productivity anxiety, uncertainty intolerance, indecision, impostor phenomenon, overthinking, phobias, rumination, panic, worry and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I absolutely love my job!

In 2019, I was nominated as a fellow by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science because of my contributions related to the applications of ACT for anxiety-based struggles. I’m the author of seven books and the co-author of three (see the section on previously written books).

I’m the founder and director of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique private center in the San Francisco Bay Area that offers therapy and coaching for anyone experiencing anxiety-based struggles.

In 2023, I gave a TEDx talk, “Stop playing-it-safe and start living” that has more than 264K downloads.

While I’m a psychologist by training and science-based by passion, my style is jargon-free, accessible, caring, and lighthearted; teaching ACT skills doesn’t have to be boring or inaccessible, so I do my best to make every skill I teach—in any format—as engaging as possible. 

I believe that learning to navigate anxiety-based reactions is one of the key skills of the 21st century, and I’m passionate about it.

I'm passionate about disseminating ACT skills for anxiety-based struggles.

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