- Have you ever struggle emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse?
- “I would have never let that happen,” is uttered or implied.
- Have you ever been in a situation in which an important other misses your emotional needs all together and just focuses on themselves?
When this invalidation or dismissal happens in a key relationship or two repeatedly over years, it can create a trauma of omission.
It’s about what you are not getting so you don’t know you are missing it.
One learns: “No one is going to help me when I feel like a failure, excluded or down. I have to turn my feelings off on my own.”
Abandoning your inner emotional life in service of what others are comfortable with or what your professional culture rewards.
In this episode, you will learn about chronic miss-attunement and how, instead of playing-it-safe by avoiding or placating, you can learn skills of self-care and how to ask for your needs to be met with the people that matter.
Attunement is to show interest in another’s world.
I interviewed Kelly Werner Ph.D., who kindly shares her understanding and approach to struggles driven by chronic miss-attunement.
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
- What is chronic miss-attunement?
- Playing-it-safe moves related to chronic miss-attunement
- How chronic miss-attunement shows up in relationships
- A.T.T.U.N.E (acronym) Process to heal from chronic miss-attunement
About Kelly Werner, Ph.D.
Kelly Werner, Ph.D. is deeply committed to helping people lead flourishing lives. Through therapy and executive coaching with individuals (www.sf-act.com), as well as leading global trainings with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (born at Google) (www.siyli.org) and the United Nations, she gives people tools to connect with their deepest wisest self to heal their inner landscape and effectively take action in the outer world. “Tell Me…” (her authentic conversation game) facilitates self-discovery, connection and trust with family, friends and workplace teams (www.tellmethegame.com).
Resources
- Kelly Werner’s website: https://sf-act.com/about_clinicians.php
- Kelly Werner’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-werner-ph-d-9ba31357/
