How to make decisions and values-based choices when feeling anxious

Disengaging and using safety crutches, Criticizing, judging, & attacking yourself

One of the things we know is that when anxiety’s pressing, we immediately start anticipating the negative outcomes, get concerned about not knowing what the outcome will be, or may dwell on past decisions. Different research labs have shown that anxiety by nature increases our attention to the negatives of a situation.

Sometimes, you may have caught all those anxiety-driven thoughts. Other times, you may quickly make decisions based on all of them. Of course, no human being wants to make poor choices. We want to minimize all the negative outcomes, but that can be really difficult, and sometimes, we are going to be confused.

In this conversation with Brad Stulberg, we discuss the different skills to manage decision-anxiety and make values-based choices in your day-to-day life.

Key Takeaways

  • How to create long-lasting change in your life
  • How your actions precede your moods, not the other way around
  • How to practice acceptance in your daily life
  • Values-based decisions versus anxious-based decisions
  • Decision anxiety
  • How to practice self-distancing when facing a decision
  • Decision anxiety when dating
  • Commitment phobias
  • Overfitting when making decisions
  • Destiny belief mindset

About Brad Stulberg

Brad Stulberg’s work explores principles of mastery and well-being that transcend capabilities and domains. Brad is particularly interested in the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He is an author of the book The Practice of Groundedness and coauthor of the books Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox. These books explore the art, science, and practice of motivation, values-driven excellence, and maximizing one’s potential—all the while realizing a more fulfilling and sustainable kind of success. He writes about these concepts on The Growth Equation, his popular blog and multimedia platform. He is a regular contributor at The New York Times, and his work has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New Yorker, Time, Los Angeles Times, Wired, New York Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and more. He is also a contributing editor to Outside Magazine. In his coaching practice, he intimately partners with clients to apply the principles about which he writes.

Resources 

Resources from Dr. Z

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Learn research-based skills and actionable steps to make better decisions, adjust to uncertain situations, make bold moves, & do more of what matters to you.

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About Dr. Z.

I’m originally from Bolivia, South America, and am a psychologist by training. I’m formally trained in empirically supported treatments, and when I say “formally,” I mean that since 2004 I have received intensive training in them, particularly in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Over the past 18 years, I have created resources for and worked with overthinkers and overachievers dealing with all types of anxiety-related struggles: perfectionism, procrastination, productivity anxiety, uncertainty intolerance, indecision, impostor phenomenon, overthinking, phobias, rumination, panic, worry and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I absolutely love my job!

In 2019, I was nominated as a fellow by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science because of my contributions related to the applications of ACT for anxiety-based struggles. I’m the author of seven books and the co-author of three (see the section on previously written books).

I’m the founder and director of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique private center in the San Francisco Bay Area that offers therapy and coaching for anyone experiencing anxiety-based struggles.

In 2023, I gave a TEDx talk, “Stop playing-it-safe and start living” that has more than 264K downloads.

While I’m a psychologist by training and science-based by passion, my style is jargon-free, accessible, caring, and lighthearted; teaching ACT skills doesn’t have to be boring or inaccessible, so I do my best to make every skill I teach—in any format—as engaging as possible. 

I believe that learning to navigate anxiety-based reactions is one of the key skills of the 21st century, and I’m passionate about it.

I'm passionate about disseminating ACT skills for anxiety-based struggles.

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